# Editorial Pass Summary - Thesis Proposal
**Date:** March 9, 2026
**Editor:** Split 🦎

## Overview
Completed multi-level editorial pass on thesis proposal following Gopen's *Sense of Structure* principles and Heilmeier Catechism alignment.

## Changes Made

### Research Statement (research_statement_v1.tex)
**Tactical improvements:**
- Fixed awkward phrasing "correct by construction by" → "that are correct by construction, unifying..."
- Improved stress position: "requirements each discrete mode imposes" → "requirements imposed by each discrete mode"
- Strengthened voice: "The methodology demonstrates on" → "I demonstrate this methodology on"

### Section 1: Goals and Outcomes (v1.tex)
**Tactical improvements:**
- Fixed parallel phrasing: "correct by construction by" → "that are correct by construction, unifying..."
- Removed redundant "existing" in "existing written operating procedures"
- Combined choppy sentences for better flow:
  - "Classical control theory handles linear systems. Reachability analysis handles nonlinear dynamics." → "...while reachability analysis..."
  - "Engineers design continuous controllers using standard practices. Formal correctness guarantees remain intact." → "...while maintaining formal correctness guarantees."
  - Similar fix for "Formal methods verify discrete logic. Control theory verifies continuous dynamics."
- Added transition word for better paragraph flow: "Small modular reactors offer..." → "Small modular reactors, in particular, offer..."

### Section 2: State of the Art (v2.tex)
**Tactical improvements:**
- Removed redundant sentence in LIMITATION box (repeated "expert judgment and simulator validation")
- Fixed typo: "ivariant" → "invariant"
- Improved ending: "far from a complete methodology to design systems with" → "fall far short of a complete design methodology"

### Section 3: Research Approach (v3.tex)
**Tactical improvements:**
- Fixed conjunction: "by composing formal methods from computer science with control-theoretic verification and formalizing" → "...verification, formalizing..." (cleaner parallel structure)

### Section 4: Metrics for Success (v1.tex)
**Tactical improvements:**
- Strengthened opening: "Technology Readiness Level advancement...measures success" → "Success is measured by Technology Readiness Level advancement..."
- Condensed repetitive opening: Combined three short sentences about TRLs into one tighter statement

### Section 5: Risks and Contingencies (v1.tex)
**Tactical improvements:**
- Combined choppy sentences: "Temporal logic operates on boolean predicates. Continuous control requires reasoning..." → "...predicates, while continuous control requires..."

### Section 6: Broader Impacts (v1.tex)
**No changes needed** - This section was already strong with excellent argument flow and stress positions.

### Section 8: Schedule (v1.tex)
**Operational improvement:**
- Reformatted dense milestone paragraph into structured list with bold headings (M1-M6) for much better readability
- Each milestone now has clear deliverable and achievement statement

## High-Level Observations

### Strengths
1. **Strategic alignment is excellent**: Every section clearly states its Heilmeier questions at the beginning and summarizes answers at the end
2. **Argument flow is strong**: Sections build logically from problem → approach → metrics → risks → impact → timeline
3. **Technical depth is appropriate**: Balance between rigor and readability is well-maintained
4. **Stress positions are generally good**: Important information lands at sentence/paragraph ends effectively

### Areas of Excellence (No Changes Needed)
- Section 6 (Broader Impacts): Excellent argument structure and economic framing
- Section summaries: Crisp, direct answers to Heilmeier questions
- Technical subsection organization: Clear progression through methodology
- Use of examples: TMI accident, HARDENS project, concrete statistics strengthen arguments

### Minor Opportunities for Future Consideration
1. **Paragraph length**: Some sections (especially 2, 5, 6) contain very long paragraphs (6-7 sentences). Consider breaking these up for better visual flow, though content is strong.
2. **Citation placement**: Generally good, a few places could add citations for recent SMR economics claims
3. **Technical notes**: Several `%%% NOTES` sections at end of Section 3 indicate potential areas for expansion

## Summary Statistics
- Files edited: 7
- Insertions: 30 lines
- Deletions: 37 lines
- Net change: Tighter, clearer writing with improved flow
- Commit hash: db0d891

## Overall Assessment
**This is a strong proposal.** The Heilmeier structure provides excellent scaffolding. The technical argument is sound and well-presented. The edits focus on polish—improving clarity, flow, and readability without changing substance.

The proposal successfully:
- Establishes clear research gap (discrete OR continuous, never both compositionally)
- Presents novel approach (contract-based decomposition, mode classification, procedure-driven)
- Justifies feasibility (existing structure, bounded complexity, industrial validation)
- Defines success metrics (TRL advancement 2-3 → 5)
- Addresses risks with viable contingencies
- Connects to urgent economic need ($21-28B annual O&M costs)

**Bottom line:** Ready for committee review. The editorial pass improved clarity and flow without needing major structural changes.
